My amazing friends

In the four and a half months I've been living in London, one of the things that tend to overcome me is a feeling of isolation. When I came, I believed that I wouldn't find it too hard to make friends. I knew that it would take a particular sort of person to want to hang out with me because there are very few people who share my eccentricities about life. There are a lot of people who just seem to be too sane* to be friends with me for whatever reason, I don't know but it's simply a fact of my life. Whenever I slyly mention it to someone they'll go "Well, I've not talked to anyone who has a problem with you" which is basically the story of my social life. Everyone has this sort of pleasant indifference to me. Pfft, Whatever. However, I believed that there would exist these sort of people who i would naturally click with  Didn't quite work the way I planned though. 2011 has been better and I'm starting to actually gasp talk to people and am getting closer to a few people which is awesome. On the rare occasion, I may even sit next to someone at dinnetime (a very notable situation in catered accommodation). Despite this, I still mark myself as someone who is not very good at socialising... with anyone. If anyone has any ideas why, I'm desparate to hear them.

This blog isn't about my lack of finding erstwhile companion though. It's about the people who by some means or another, I am friends with.  I am constantly being shocked and amazed at how fantastic my friends are to me and I love them so much for this. There are a lot of people close to me who don't know most of the important drama in my life but when they are really supportive of me based on the little rubbish things that get to me, I just feel so loved. I have to admit, recently a lot of it has been about lending me little bits (or big bits!!) of money here and there while I struggle to get my student loan through and a job. I know I shouldn't revolve my life around money but what people have done for for me in this sense has been so overwhelming that I genuinely had to stop myself from crying last time it happened. And everyone else has just shown me a lot of friendlove in a way that makes me feel so happy and fuzzy inside. Don't get me wrong, there are still people who would be happy to be friends with me just so they can talk about themselves/get in my pants but usually I don't pay them much bother. In the same guise, someone who you put a lot of effort into talking to/being friends with who doesn't reciprocate also isn't worth it. That one happens a lot more. But I like to think I've chosen the good'uns and if you're reading this and wondering you are one, you probably are. Which makes me feel that anyone who talks to me one day and then fails to acknowledge me the next day at college isn't really worth it.


There are some people in my life who I really truly love and I really owe them everything. There are people who I'm desparately scared of falling out of contact with now that we've all separated off into our different Unilands. I can't wait to get back to LARP as well. Larpers are such a supportive bunch and there are very good reasons that I see a lot of them as my surrogate family. I've been a bit absent from it recently and so I hope when I get back into it, I will be talking to more people and will be back with this lovely bunch once again becuase so many of them come under the love addressed in the previous paragraph. The people who I've known and saw practically every day for 2/5/7 years are extremely important and stand by me like conjoined twins with their shoelaces tied together and I would fall apart without them.


Love you all <3